last man out

I sit and in my heart I feel nothing, anaesthetic worn free, now a just sinking, sickening. Fear of death and the urge to destroy grow in me, quell thyself, then again rise given time - indignance, pain mere constriction of the chest. Carry fearless anguished memories of doubt and with final bound cast lifeless... Continue Reading →

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docklands

It's middle fingers up, nothing ever comes for free in this life except the worthwhile. Lose everything and be freed to begin again - choose another way, perhaps the right one after all? What will sustain you through those dark and hopeless days except belief in yourself and the knowledge that nothing will last forever?... Continue Reading →

Co-pilot

Cruising at 570mph, 31,999ft above the ground, it is more apparent that life is passing irrespective of the viewer's subjective position on the matter. Another airport, another hour, and like the ticking of an eternal clock, each new day brings sights which question knowledge at one stage I believed to be certain, and then pass... Continue Reading →

Southbound 

What began with coffee and jam sandwiches with Narathiwat's immigration police became a two week visa sidetrack into Malaysia. After having my face stitched up I hopped a hotel van to the border, walking distance but the streets had felt an uneasy place - cheeky of the Thais to have shows in such contested areas.... Continue Reading →

Retrospective becoming

I've watched it over and over in this dingy motel room, quietly deliberating what I could have done differently, how many errors I made and what I might do to improve. I have felt some apathy regarding the result of this latest scrap, but more over the inherent feelings of, "was that it?" I long... Continue Reading →

Considerations

It's not all about winning or losing - at least that's what I tell myself - it's about the progress made along the way. Thinking about last night I am proud to say that I have conquered many demons up to this point; every fight is a lesson, if you are willing to learn there... Continue Reading →

Homebreed Export

Roadblock after roadblock, roadblock after roadblock, and the black clad special forces with m16s slung around their necks on street corners and behind concrete balustrades guide us into a region of strife. A number of years ago I attended a riot in Bangkok the day before my first appearance on Thai Fight, another example of... Continue Reading →

M3 

Mushrooms and motorbike accidents have come to define my life, I hit 27 running, quite literally. Losing traction taking a left over a hill I surfed the hydroplaning bike til she flipped and took a ditch at a single leap, but was sure to ram the nut on the wall which broke my fall -... Continue Reading →

Demi god

On this occasion I had the good sense to send a piece to my friend Alanna first, so with a draft and an edit I give you this: Demi god The youth in me which grewAnd flourished before orange skiesAnd black waters - the love within me which foundIts voice on roads After rains fell and... Continue Reading →

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