Across the span of many victories and occasional stinging defeat, a crystallisation of emotion occurred, morphing into contented sense of wellbeing, from a curiosity which has lead to a depth of experience.
During these times of struggle and joy, sorrow and laughter and awe, a sense of purpose evolved. I have foregone many things in the search for internal repose, a hedonistic life can lead to imbalance. Though confronted by chaos, the tropics affirmed my freedom and the right to exist, removed in some small way from the materialism of the west.
Seven years washed over in a heartbeat. People elsewhere enveloped themselves in noise, an attempt to drown out the silence without – better embrace the silence within.
As waves of time roll over us, and the ones we stood guard over by campfires under moonlight find their way without us, how do we reconcile beauty without them? When the ties that bind us are hidden from view by the natural flow of time, at the end I hope to look back with joy, for the beauty which has passed before my widening eyes. Given fortune given freedom, aching soulful wandering heathen.
To have felt love though it passed, is to have glimpsed the tide of life, a smile hidden in a gesture – eternal longing, warmer weather.
I miss each day that youthful exultation; amidst fractals was a vision, empathetic female yearning – and she spoke unto me,
”Breathe”, from that darkness rose defiance.
In white light stood a figure, outstretched arms enveloping fingers – in her voice forgiveness, a vision of Love. Kindness of electric blue-eyed smile, red veil of her aura, reminder of lost lover to embrace of another.
“Do not worry, love is within us, no single other”, and such the vision changed, liquid figures rose from oceans before dissolving back into emotion.
Look forward into life realise love is found in motion, realise your mind is of your senses – you observe a world from within your conscience.
I stood there overlooking a silver moonlit bay, cold twinkling starlight reminder that movement is my purpose, passion superceding all others – I knew I was a warrior, an athlete and free.
My experience is as a sliver of light cast through a door slightly ajar, yet profound euphoric sensations accompanied me on my travels wide and far, which stimulated me – liberty at last, reinvent thyself time and again – cast off the conditioning of prior life.
Words barely describe the content which began to manifest on that journey – the vibrance of a dream fulfilled in each moment. Seven years in such a state, mindful of every minute, that that time is gone is a reminder of how quickly life shall pass – though the weight of positive memories has thawed and loosened the ice-like vice-grip on my heart and replaced it with humility.
So enlightening did this euphoria at such carefree and simple existence become, that any struggle or sacrifice paled in comparison to the neccessity to maintain it. As a result of such adversity I am assured that nothing in life can shake my desire to win.